The Truth Remains; the Delivery Changes

One of the things I am trying to learn is that I do not have to change the truth in order to change how I deliver it.

The truth can remain exactly where it is.

The volume can come down.

The speed can come down.

The sharp edge can come off.

That matters to me because there is a fear hidden inside softer communication.

The fear is that if I soften my voice, I will somehow weaken my position.

I am beginning to see that this is not necessarily true.

“I disagree” is still disagreement when spoken calmly.

“No” is still no when it is not shouted.

“That is not acceptable to me” does not become less clear because it is delivered without anger.

The message can remain firm while the delivery becomes easier to hear.

That is a useful distinction.

It means I do not have to choose between honesty and kindness.

I can work on both.

Sometimes the work is simply this:

Keep the truth. Change the temperature.

That does not guarantee the other person will agree.

It does not guarantee a conversation will end well.

But it gives me something important back.

Control over my own part.

I cannot control how every truth is received.

I can keep practising how I carry it into the room.